Retreat to Get Ahead (and to forget about getting ahead)

Here is some material about the importance of retreats, adapted from the book LESS: Accomplishing More By Doing Less:

If you think you don’t have the time to take a yearly retreat, or fear that retreats are themselves a waste of time, I suggest you reconsider.

Each fall Bill Gates, founder and chairman of the board of Microsoft, spends a week in reflection because he believes in the power of retreats to renew and refresh himself and his business outlook. According to The Wall Street Journal, during his seven-day "Think Week," he considers the future of technology and how Microsoft should respond. Time quoted Gates as saying, “We have retreats each year where we think about where the world is heading.”

When Gandhi was at the height of his work and unexpectedly found himself receiving worldwide attention, someone asked him, “You are living in the midst of so many pressures. How have you managed to respond to all the expectations and still maintain your equanimity and grace?”
Ghandi responded, “I used to take a monthly retreat each year. Now I must take two months of retreat each year.”

I generally take part in an annual six- to seven-day Zen retreat in the redwood forests of northern California. One of the main reasons I take part in retreats, and believe so powerfully in them, is that being on a retreat gives me time to address my deepest fears. While this method and practice for engaging fear is still somewhat unusual in the West, many cultures around the world have used some version of a retreat for centuries to settle the mind and face our subtle and not-so-subtle fears.

The Path and Process of Retreat
Be thoughtful in the way you choose a place and a time for your retreat. If you have not taken retreats before, I suggest finding a group that offers one- to seven-day retreats. Do some research; ask friends for referrals. Check the Internet, and don’t overlook calling the nearest Zen center, your place of worship, or the Wellness Center of a hospital for suggestions. Then when you’ve found a retreat that feels right, sign up, put it on your schedule, and protect the time.

Retreats come in many shapes and sizes. Here is a list of options to consider:

Personal retreat: Create a retreat for yourself, or include a friend or small group. Make it one or two days, and create a schedule that gives the retreat a simple structure. Make sure to eliminate potential distractions, and give yourself several opportunities for focused silent meditation, whether sitting or walking.

Management retreat: Many of the most highly effective management teams I know take a one-day retreat each quarter and a three-day retreat each year. This time can be used to build trust, to clarify strategy, and to move toward a shared vision. Building trust takes time. Working with a skilled outside facilitator can help foster more open communication. The results, both in better relationships and improved performance, are well worth the time and effort.

Family retreat: It can be hard for families to slow down, stop, and take a retreat. Structure a way for your family to spend time together, without all of the toys and distractions of a typical vacation. Camping, river rafting, or any variety of outdoor activities can provide a supportive environment for stepping outside of your family’s usual pace.

A weekly “Sabbath”: There is tremendous wisdom in the ritual of taking one day off each week as a Sabbath or a day of mindfulness — a day of no work, no shopping, no watching TV, no using the computer. Try creating a regular, consistent day when you will not do anything that resembles commerce or engaging in your typical forms of entertainment and distraction.

When you go on or create your retreat, here are some things to keep in mind:
Change the pace: Slow down. Structure a day, or part of a day, where the focus is on paying attention to yourself and your surroundings when you have nothing to accomplish. Slow down the pace from your usual activity by removing all external distractions. Leave your cell phone and BlackBerry behind.

New perspective: If possible, retreat away from your office space and home space. Be in a place that is less familiar and where you are less apt to feel the pull of everyday tasks and usual routines. Quiet and spaciousness are very important.

Become sick of yourself: Pay attention to the patterns and habits of your thinking. Stay with the stories you tell yourself — what you could be doing instead of being on retreat, how bored and uncomfortable you are, what a waste of time this is, how frustrating it feels to repeatedly face your fears, and so on. Let yourself become sick of yourself.

Find your center: Notice that you are more than your stories. In the busyness of life, you can easily become fooled into believing that the stories you tell about yourself are you, and that they absolutely define you. As your mind becomes more quiet, you gain access to your still, undefinable center. You glimpse the ways you create these stories about yourself, about others, and about the world. Are these stories necessarily true? What if the opposite is true? Could both versions of the story be true? Who is it that is creating these thoughts? Find your center beyond your stories, beyond your personality. This is the realm of all that you are and have the potential to be.