When my son was twenty, he once said to me, “Look at you, Dad. You are old, short, balding, and have crooked teeth. You have the responsibility of caring for children, and you run a business and own a home. I don’t think I want to be anything like you.” I felt tremendous love and affection from and for my son. I could see that he was struggling to understand his own future and the decisions and choices that would confront him as he developed. I felt proud to see my son searching and questioning. What is real freedom? What is responsibility? How do our ideas get in the way? How do we act freely, effectively, beyond success or failure, free of fear, free from hindrance?
I pointed out that he probably would, unfortunately, look like me when he got to be my age. About the responsibility of having children and running a business, I asked him, “What’s the alternative? Do you think that freedom means not having responsibility, not making difficult choices?”
There is a famous story from Zen literature that goes like this:
Teacher A asks Teacher B, “Where do you come from?” (Sometimes a trick question.)
Teacher B replies, “From the south.” (Ah, a safe answer.)
A asks, “How is Zen practice in the South these days?”
B responds, “There lots of discussion.”
A states, “How can all the discussion compare to planting the fields and cooking rice?
B asks, “What can you do about the world.”
A replies, “What do you call the world.”
This are interesting questions, not to be taken lightly – 1) What can you do about the world? Meaning, what are you doing to improve, to help, to heal yourself, to heal the world? And 2) What do you call the world?
It seems strange to think about needing to practice wonder. I’ve read that in some cultures there is a belief, or understanding that just being born as a human being is enough – this alone is a tremendous gift and miracle. No more striving is necessary. But we humans are strange creatures. It seems that we forget. Here are two short pieces of writing, one by Paul Hawken, and another by Norman Fischer that help me to remember:
“There are 100 trillion cells in your body. 90% are not human cells – they are microorganisms, bacteria, and fungi. Right now, inside your body, six septillion activities are going on simultaneously – a six with 24 zeroes. Can you feel it? It is happening this very moment to everyone here. You can feel it because it is the feeling of being alive. More things will have happened in your body in just one second of your life than there are stars and planets in the universe. Who is in charge? Luckily, no one. We cannot control this miracle.”
A student asked the teacher, “How do you avoid the discomfort of hot and cold?”
The teacher said, “Go to that place where there is no hot and cold.”
The student asked, “Where is that place?”
The teacher responded, “When you are hot, be hot and when you are cold, be cold.”